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Moving on is not just about dating new people, it’s much more

by DrPrem Jagyasi
dating new people

You know what you feel like after a breakup, and all breakups are difficult. Moving on after a breakup is hard, and different people have different ways to cope with it. Crying over a relationship is normal, as you had a lot of time and energy invested in it. Moreover, it certainly does not help that you see your ex’s photos on Facebook with someone else.

The desire to feel needed and cherished by someone is there in each of us, but this should not make us hurry to get in relationships on the rebound. Take the opportunity to step back and move on in a way that you feel empowered, and invest in yourself rather than in someone else.  Here are a few ways in which you can do that:

Release your regrets

Release your regrets

When any relationship ends, you may be tempted to indulge in regretting some action or words which you think might have damaged your relationship. This is completely counter-productive to your effort to move on, as rehashing never helps. Being positive after a breakup is most important in order to move on. Dwelling on what might have been would cause you more suffering.

Focus on good things in life

dating couple

Focus on good people and things in your life. Let your friends and family help you get over your breakup. Dating after breakup is tough, and you might feel like getting right into the game, and you can do that, provided you are positive and can look at the past in an objective manner. Also, venting to patient friends helps to get things off your chest!

Stick to a routine

Stick to a routine

Your breakup should not disturb your daily routine. Do not give in to the temptation of staying in bed and wallowing in grief, but get up, drink your morning tea or coffee and go to work, or do something you like to keep busy. Doing small constructive things and being positive after a breakup, helps to face life again. It tough at first, but it is certainly possible and you can definitely do it.

Forgive yourself

Forgive yourself

Moving on after a breakup is easier when you forgive yourself if you think you made mistakes, but it’s best not to revisit that. You’re human and you can make mistakes but you can learn from them.

Like yourself

Like yourself

You need to like yourself, before you can have someone else like you. You’re you and you have to feel good about yourself in order to accept the love and respect from someone else. Our morale takes a beating when a relationship ends, and we certainly don’t feel on top of the world. But after a breakup, you must heal yourself, mentally and emotionally.

Exercise, eat well, cook

Exercise

Do things which releases feel good hormones in your body, like exercising and dancing. It will take your mind off things and make you happier. Plus, feeling and being fit has the added advantage of improving your looks which would cheer you up too. You could learn to cook a new cuisine, or take up a new hobby, or do volunteer work. Take care of yourself by eating well.

Do not have drinks or drugs

drugs

Drinking and drugs may seem attractive options to drown your misery, but you should never use addictive substances to help you get over someone. Drinking will make you feel worse in the morning, because not only will you have a hangover, but  you also know it’s not the right solution to your problems.  Never let any situation change your habit. This is why it is advisable to stay away from drinking and drugs. If you need an adrenaline boost find outer positive ways to help you during this tough phase.

Get a sense of what you want

dating couple

Dating after breakup can be easy if you know what you’re looking for in a mate. You should go out with someone who is able to meet your needs and can complement you in every way. The best thing that can come from a breakup is gaining insight to your relationship needs.

Don’t cling to the past and make a concerted effort to let go. Make new hobbies, friends and focus on your career. Focusing on positive things will empower you and help you move on and grow in life.

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