I work at a call center and love my job and consider people I work with as my second family. There was a time when I used to be a happy go lucky fellow, but life does not always remain the same. Events of life gifted me depression, rage and listlessness and this prevented me from allowing people to come close to me. While all my friends went out partying, all I did was to lie in my bed and stare at the ceiling for hours. My mother was devastated to see me alone and lonely and one day she introduced me to a friend’s daughter who would stay with us for a few days. She was a lively girl and also very adamant. She would forcibly take me out on Saturday nights and sing songs and narrate stories to me when I was unable to sleep. Eventually I fell for her and it’s her love that cured me and made me a happy man once again.

The songs and symphonies in my head had started decaying 5 years back. At 19 I was the lead singer, guitarist and bassist for my college band and symphonies would spring in my mind fully formed. I got so engrossed in my music that I started sleeping for 4 hours a day at the maximum. I did not realize that I had invited insomnia into my night sleep. It was on a vacation that I realized that I could not sleep more than 4 hours. When I came back I noticed that the symphonies no longer formed fully, but only arrived at half term and this further cut down my sleep to two hours a night or even less. Then one fine day my girlfriend gifted me a CD of all the songs I had ever sung and recorded. I was surprised by my own creations and could not believe my ears. Gradually I trained myself with the technique of hearing my own songs and falling asleep. I hope to once again return to my old self.

Since teenage I have lost my reality about the definition of sleep. For over 20 years I remained jutted in a state of sleeplessness. After midnight I would keep rolling over, look at the watch telling myself “if I slept now, I’d get 6 hours of sleep”. Then another hour would pass and I would say “if I’d sleep now, I’d get 5 hours of sleep” and finally I would keep counting hours until morning when it was time to get ready for work. I was motivated to find a cure for this ailment of mine by myself and one fine day I decided to befriend insomnia. I was inspired by the words “If a man had as many ideas during the day as he does when he has insomnia, he’d make a fortune” and these lines proved to be the turning point in my story.

My name is Thomas and I am a 58 year old divorced man whose children live out in the city and whose parents are still lingering on. My divorce set up the ground for my depression and insomnia and the concern of my children and the responsibility of aging parents added fuel to the fire. Not only my physical appearance changed, but also my overt behavior started reflecting my inner turmoil. Finally I went to a sleep specialist who prescribed ways and means of regularizing my sleep with the help of both medication and meditation. It has been two years since I have followed the strict schedule and although it is tough it has helped me to become a better and more independent person.

I will never forget the night of January 2003 when me and my husband were at his grandmother’s place. Around midnight I drank a cup of black tea, followed by three glasses of white wine and yet sleep would not come. That was the beginning of insomnia followed by long lonely nights when everyone else would sleep and I would travel nasty roads of sleeplessness until morning. Dark circles blemished my eyes and I looked frail. After months of taking non effective medication a friend gifted me two books; The Art of Happiness by Dalai Lama and Journey into Healing by Deepak Chopra. These books taught me important lessons that fear of a thing will aggravate it and fearlessness is the only weapon forward. I armored myself with this weapon and for the last 8 years I have been able to fight insomnia.