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Giving space to your children can help maintain a better relationship

by DrPrem Jagyasi
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Whether your parenting style is free-range or helicopter, you must have understood by now how complex parenting is. You’re always second guessing yourself, and hope that your kids will turn out all right. Sometimes, in your zeal to be a good parent, you try too hard, and your child may be too coddled and may not be interested in new things.

You have to set boundaries but also help your child / children become independent and confident, by giving them some space.  A toddler, tween or teen, all children need space to grow, though it’s often hard for parents to know when to give them the space they need. Here are some clues you should give your child some space and create the right balance of space and firmness in the relationship between you and your children:

They depend on you for all decisions

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When your children are young, you have to help them with their decisions. But even so, you can guide them to make their own decisions, such as picking their snack or clothes, which might help them to make bigger decisions in future.

They can’t stay without you

Mother and Daughter

Very young children need you and cling to you, but even at that tender age, you should let them be on their own for some time, so that they will be used to your absence and both of you will get some space.

They do not want any PDA

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One of the signs that your child wants some space is that they push you away in public.

They want to solve problems on their own

Mother embrace daughter shot against a white background

When your toddler shows signs of trying to do things on their own, let them, especially when the activity is not dangerous. This is one of the clues you should give your child some space.  This will give them the space to develop their confidence and you will also get used to not hovering over them all the time. They will love the trust you have in them! Giving them small freedoms can be helpful when you have to allow them greater freedoms.

Treat your teenage children as adults

Father and daughter

Teens are a tough part of growing up, and you have to let go of your child at many levels. You can no longer control every aspect of your child’s life, but if you treat them as young adults, giving them space and respecting their boundaries, you can enjoy a healthy bond between you and your child. You will feel sad that they do not share everything with you as before (or maybe they do), but this is a part of life and stepping back may actually lead them to confide in you more.

Be able to laugh

Mother with son

Try to see the humor of situations and laugh with your child, maybe you could even watch a cartoon or show with them. Laughing is a great way to bond. There are times when you and child may not see eye to eye and this crates tension. So deliberately make an effort to clear the air, and share some good time together, and as they say, laughter is the best medicine.

Communicate clearly

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As your children grow up, they will have their own reasoning and will want to do things their way,. Your child wants some space to think and play, and instead of both of you fighting for control, take a step back and understand that you have to give your growing child their space. You must give them the space to do their own things, but also make them understand that there are certain boundaries they cannot cross.

Do not sort out all their problems

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Some children like you to solve all the problems in lives, and this may make you feel good and you can take this as a sign of closeness, but actually, if your child is letting you take all decisions and solve all his/her problems, you’re just making them dependent on you, and robbing them of their capacity of independent thought.

The bond between you and your child will be stronger when your child knows that you trust him/her, and might actually keep them out of trouble. Giving your child space will help maintain a better relationship with your children.

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